Arts has a special place in human lives.
You can get a thousand compliments and appreciation from people for your rational brain but when it comes to feelings, contentment, satisfaction, etc. your rational brain is not of much use.
And precisely for this, nature has given humans two sides of the brains.
Left brain (left hemisphere) and right brain (right hemisphere).
Whereas the left brain makes you think logically and help you to analyze things critically, the right brain makes you more creative and artistic.
You need to use both your brains (both parts of the brain) to live a worthwhile life.
Unfortunately, today we appreciate more the right-brained people than left-brained people.
Since economic influence has become the single most important factor to evaluate people, we naturally admire economically affluent people rather than people who are creative and bring new art to the world.
But deep inside we all have that craving for creativity. We want to create things, we want to appreciate arts.
But the struggle for making a living in daily lives keeps us in an illusion that we never have enough time to create or appreciate arts.
Even then, you must have come across some mesmerizing piece of arts that has left a deep impression on you.
Whether it is a book, movie, painting, song, or any form of art, you must have got inspiration from them.
When I was 18 years old, I read a fantasy-romance novel ‘Twilight’ by Stephenie Meyers.
Later, I watched all the movies based on her novels.
Of course, the books and movies have become a sensational hit worldwide with more than 100 million books sold all over the globe.
Even if you haven’t watched or read Twilight, I am sure you have heard about it.
Here is the cover of the book
And here are the posters of all the movies made based on the novel.
To be honest, I liked the book and movies when I read/watched it 7 years back but I didn’t comprehend or understand much of its deep-rooted messages.
I guess that’s how great things are.
There is always something to learn or get from a great piece of art, even after you leave it.
So here are some lessons or to be specific lessons about love-life that this wonderful book or movies can teach us.
1. Evaluate Your Choices Before Deciding
It’s true for all of us whether you talk generally about life or even about love-life.
Life is all about choices we make.
Often it is between an easy choice vs difficult choice.
Some choices seem improbable at first, the ones that wrench your heart out, in one way or another, are usually worth the pain.
You always have an easy option to choose a partner from your similar background, ethnicity, culture, etc.
But sometimes you find a loyal and caring lover from a different background than yours.
It is often a difficult choice to accept him/her as your partner when that person belongs to a different culture or background.
But the difficult choice is perhaps worth making when you believe the returns in the future are way bigger than some difficulties in the beginning.
In the novel, The lead actress Bella Swann had two choices. She could choose Edward or Jacob as her partner.
Choosing Jacob was perhaps an easy option for her as she then didn’t have to sacrifice her normal human life.
Moreover Jacob loved her and would fit into her normal human life.
But Bella chose the difficult option. She chose Edward knowing that he was a vampire and to live with him, she had to become a vampire.
She chose what was right for her over what was easy.
It’s a big lesson for us too.
Chose the right partner not the easy partner.
2. Take Love as A Verb not Noun
How many times you have heard young couples say
‘When we started our relationship, everything seemed magical, but now we have lost that spark somehow‘
In fact, some people even warn before you enter into a romantic relationship
‘Everything is good at the start, but after some time everything fades away‘
Why does such things happen?
I don’t have a perfect answer or enough wisdom to describe it.
But the statement ‘love is a verb, not a noun‘ make sense to me.
In the beginning, most people fall in love majorly based on feelings and partly due to actions or behaviors.
The beginning phase of a romantic relationship is mainly feeling based for most young people, which also means our hormones play a vital role in that phase.
But as time passed by, feelings (and so hormones) start to saturate and that’s why the same words that he used to tell her earlier gave a flood of good feelings, now does not work to that extent.
Thus after a certain time relationship becomes more action-based than feeling-based.
More than saying ‘I love you’ then what matters more is to act in such a way that reinforces her/his belief that you genuinely care for her/him.
Look at your parents.
Do they say ‘I love you’ each other quite often?
Most often, they do not. They do not need to.
In a day, they get told “I love you” many times through small acts of love.
When you start acknowledging your partner’s small acts and expressing gratitude to her, you start taking love as a noun.
“People feel empty and invisible when their efforts go unnoticed and unacknowledged”
The whole flowers and chocolate thing become secondary when you express your love through the smallest of acts rather than just by feelings.
In Twilight’s novel, Edward was always beside Bella whenever she was in danger or some kind of dilemma.
It was small acts of showing care by Edward that made Bella believe that Edward is the right person she could rely on.
3. Love is Also About Sacrifice
You have to give up something to get something.
This is true in all aspect of life.
When you move into a new place, you sacrifice your old friends and familiar environments.
You can’t expect to remain exactly the same after entering in a relationship.
You have to sacrifice and compromise a few things to grow the relation.
The only thing you should never change is perhaps your values and principles in life (if they are aligned with your life).
In the novel, when Bella wanted to be with Edward. Bur being a vampire Edward was immortal. Bella had to sacrifice her mortal life, her normal human friends, etc.
She had given up everything normal for the chance to have something special.
4. You Don’t Find The Right Person, You Become The Right Person
There is a famous saying that says-
“You don’t get what you want, you get what you deserve”
Consciously or unconsciously we all look for that right partner who will understand our dreams, hopes, worldview, etc.
But often we forget to make ourselve a right partner.
You can’t expect to find a well-behaved partner when you are not well-behaved. You can’t expect to find a caring partner when you are not a caring person.
You attract the kind of person you exactly are.
Therefore, working on your development rather than chasing for a partner makes much more sense.
Bella Swann in the novel got all the attention in her college not because she used to make up a lot or chase people but because she was confident and believed in her abilities.
5. Love Unites People, Don’t Devide
When we think about relationship, we assume love between two people.
But we forget other elements that strenthen and support those two people.
You can’t expect to build a strong relationship by making the world unhappy.
Your family and friends are your world.
Your romantic relationship should strengthen your relationship with your family and friends.
If your connection with your family and friends is getting worse due to your partner, chances are you are with the wrong person.
As shown in the novel/movies, Vampires and werewolves were enemies of each other but they united and fought together for the daughter of Edward and Bella.
When you love someone, you want to include and unite people in your world (family and friends) not disclude them.
These are some lessons about relationships I learned from ‘Twilight’.
If you have read or watch the movies, what did you learn?
Which aspect of the story you liked most?
Let me know by commenting below.
If you haven’t watched yet, you should either read the novel or watch the movies (you can do both if you wish). It’s truly a great piece of art.
To read my articles regularly, you can subscribe below.
An insightful article to read